Reality hit me, for the first time in days, today. Mostly, we hear people being pessimistic, like it's human nature. Of course, it is. When your job interview, or let's say a very important meeting goes bad, you think about it 24*7. You worry about the outcome, the results, the consequences. I am that way too. But this time, when a life changing thing happened with me, I was hoping for the best, to this very moment, I was. I thought of the best outcome possible. I was so certain. But a very little, comment by my brother, about going forward with the same, my outlook changed and my vision shifted to the worst possible. I was suddenly seeing the whole picture, the drawbacks of this not going the way I want it to be. My world, my dreams, my wants shattered. I was no more planning my outfits for the day of declaration. I was shivering with the possibility of what is about to come.
Let me give you little back story, I was preparing for one of the most given exams, in India, the Common Admission Test. About 6 months ago, I chose to give the exam, after a lot of contemplation. Like every other aspirant preparing for the same, I was all in, after some consoling and retrospection, I made up my mind. The last days were hectic as hell, giving a mock every other day. It was definitely thrilling; I actually started liking the process of it. There are three sections, I don't like the Quantitative Ability part, well because I am a dreamer and it requires being a part of reality. But never mind I sailed through the subject, through thick and thins I chose my studies, prioritised it at most times. Then it was soon, the D Day, which I never expected to happen so soon. I went on to give the exam, with a bit of nervousness, composure and a lot of concentration. It was over within 120 minutes. I was feeling okayish, maybe even satisfied with how the exam went. As soon as I reached home and even on the way to home, I told my parents, it went well. But the very next day, I saw Reddit, and people were so mad about how and what a disaster their exam was. Calling out authorities for setting up such a shitty paper. I was like okay, maybe they chose the wrong sets, or they may have done a difficult question, people had no expectations, I did. I was almost sure about my accuracy in all the three sections. I was being so optimistic, like What could happen to me, nothing can go wrong, I thought. But as my other exams are coming closer, I feel like I may have miscalculated a lot of things or what I am thinking may have actually been wrong. And so on and so forth. The thing is the response sheets are coming out tomorrow, that is the main thing I am not able to process, it is kind of hindering my preparation for the other upcoming exams. Maybe tomorrow, I get a great score, or maybe I fall on my face, maybe I end up in a mediocre range, I don't know. This very uncertainty maybe, is what eating me or maybe the fact that I may end up in a poor college. Whatever the consequence is I don't know how to feel about it. I don't know what to feel about it. So here I turn to Metalabel, like always. This is the only place I know to be, when I don't know where to be. I don't know how, but it helps.

So, the art today will be inspired with all of the above I have mentioned. The contemplation, the build-up, the anxiety and finally the consequence.